To Save a Life
by TsuyuBaby
Summary: Gintoki will do his best to save him, whether he wants to be saved or not. Gintoki/Kamui, mentioned OMC/Kamui
1. Chapter 1

Title: To Save a Life  
>Author: Koite (yellowrose)<br>Rating: R  
>Summary: Gintoki will do his best to save him, whether he wants to be saved or not. One-shot, but if enough people want it, I might write a second chapter with a lemon. :3 almost 2500 words.<br>Pairings: pre-slash inklings of possible Gintoki/Kamui, OMC/Kamui  
>Warnings: mentioned past rape, talk of murder, depressing concepts, language<p>

~X~

Now some might think that Kamui didn't care for his sister, but in fact, he thought that she was the only good thing he had left in this world. Which is why, when the higher ups announced that they would need one of the captains to take a trip to the city that Kagura happened to live in in order to go to a meeting with some scumbag in the Yoshiwara district, Kamui volunteered. The little space captain also happened to find himself wandering into the kabuki district in hopes of catching a glimpse of his precious little sister. He wanted to check on her and see what her life was like, but he knew that it was better for her if she never had to see him again. He would only cause her pain, which was why he was secretly following the Yoruzuya trio around for a couple days before the meeting was to occur.

Unfortunately, it seems he had underestimated the silver samurai because when he turned into an alleyway to take a break and eat some breakfast he found himself pressed faced first into a wall with his hands above his head and a sword at his neck before he even registered another being's presence. Looking behind he caught a glimpse of silver hair and surprisingly non-apathetic, intense looking red eyes.

"Well, this is a surprise. What could the Shiroyasha want with little old me, hmm?"

The older man tightened his grip on Kamui's wrists, but other than that there was very little reaction to the use of the name Shiroyasha. The redhead didn't actually need the other to answer, he already knew. Gintoki was here to question Kamui as to why he had been sneaking around the past couple days.

"I didn't think you were the type to ask questions you already knew the answers to. Guess I was wrong, huh? Well then, I'll give you an answer you weren't expecting. I'm here to save you."

So the silver-headed samurai wanted to save him? That was pathetic, he didn't _require_ saving. How far had he fallen for his suffering to be known to even a complete stranger? Kamui wasn't some damsel in distress, he was a killer, a murderer. He was nothing but a Yato. His very veins were filled with nothing but blood-lust. The redhead had done things that would probably make the honorable samurai puke. He didn't even think of himself as a person. Save him? _Don't be silly._ There was nothing left to save, and if there was, then there was nothing worth saving.

So Kamui asked in a voice filled with bitter contempt and self-loathing, "Don't you think that's a bit of a lost cause, Gintoki-san?"

"Apparently your sister doesn't think so. She cried last time you left, even though your comrade was the one to give her multiple bone fractures and you did nothing to help her. She cried and _begged_ me to help you, to save you. So I'm going to try my damned hardest whether you want me to or not._ And_ don't you ever call yourself a lost cause. If there's something there to save, I'll find it and I'll rescue it." Gintoki said with a light growl and a determined face, squeezing Kamui's wrists on the last sentence for emphasis.

Kamui scoffed. "My sister doesn't know anything about me anymore. I've done things, things I can't take back. I've made mistakes that I can't be forgiven for. I've lost things that can never be found again...There's nothing to save, Gintoki-san. Nothing. Have fun looking." Kamui said, breaking away from Gintoki's grip. Pushing himself off the wall he made to walk away and out of their lives forever. Obviously even checking up on her caused her pain. Therefor he would just have to stop being selfish and just _stay away_.

"Tell Kagura I died. It's for the bes-" GIntoki grabbed Kamui's wrist and slammed his back onto the wall of the alley, effectively stopping him from continuing that sentence.

"You think that would help her? She wants to save you, so you tell her you're dead? Yes, surely that's the best way to go in this situation. You may be a Yato, you may have killed hundreds of people, but you are still young. I've been in a situation that made me feel the way you do-that it'd be better for everyone if you just stopped existing-and that's how I know that it's wrong. You may think you're being selfless by wanting to commit suicide, but it's not selfless-it's _selfish_." Gintoki said, staring intensely into Kamui's surprised eyes. He really wanted the point to get across to the younger one.

Taking a shaky breath Kamui replied in a quiet voice, "What did you do? To resolve the...the situation, I mean."

"What I did won't help you. Our situations were too different. But I'll tell you what I think the best thing for you to do is. Do you want me to help?" Gintoki asked softly.

"...O-ok. Ok, yes." Kamui stated.

"Ok what, Kamui-kun?" Gintoki prodded, he needed to other to admit he needed him, to admit he wanted the help. The redhead was the type to pretend none of this happened and if he didn't get a confession out of him then the little captain would likely refuse his help later.

"Ok, _fine_. I would like your help. _Shiroyasha_." Kamui said through gritted teeth. He loathed admitting he had a weakness.

"Now, now, just because you're feeling vulnerable doesn't mean you have to strike out at the one helping you!" Gintoki said with a smile.

Receiving a glare from the other he continued, "The first thing I think you should do is come with me. I need you to tell me exactly what your situation is in order to properly help. We don't have to let anyone else know you're here if you don't want to."

"Ok."

~X~

The kids were out for the day so Gintoki had brought him back to the Yorozuya. Kamui turned down the multiple offers of strawberry milk, wondering why someone would want to drink such a strange colored liquid, but accepted the offer of hot tea.

The redhead wasn't sure where to start or what to say. Now that he wasn't being forced against a wall the idea of spewing out everything that was currently going on in his life sounded absolutely atrocious. He hated complaining and self-pity, and he was currently asking to commit both? This definitely wasn't something he wanted. That silver-headed bastard! He wanted to rip off his arms and shove one up his ass and the other into his mouth-finally, an end to the seemingly endless praise the samurai had for that damned strawberry milk. Honestly, Kamui did not care about all the completely random facts and little histories of the pepto-bismol looking liquid. He made a vow to get back at the annoying samurai at some later point.

After a few awkward moments of the two of them sitting on opposite couches in complete silence Kamui finally spoke up.

"I'm not sure what to say. Where do I start? What's important? I've never talked about...I've never done this sort of...thing before."

Setting down his strawberry milk and leaning back Gintoki said, "Well, what do you think is relevant? I guess a good place to start would be: why do you think you're not worth saving? Why do you think you're a 'lost cause'?"

Looking away Kamui took another sip of his tea before starting.

"I've done many...horrible things-to others and to myself. I'm not sure there's anything of the original me-the me that Kagura wants-left inside. My body is empty, a mere husk with no feelings. What torments me is not that I hate killing others, but the fact that I've grown so accustomed to committing homicide-and genocide-that I no longer feel anything when I do so. I am apathetic towards acts of great violence inflicted by myself upon others. I feel nothing when I take a life. And I feel nothing when...something...is taken from me. I...I feel _nothing_."

Gintoki listened in silence and without judgement. He knew what it felt like to be killing so often that you forgot you were taking lives. It would take a while to heal in that aspect, but Gintoki could help.

"What has been taken from you?"

Kamui's head whipped around to look at him from it's previous position of staring at the grains of wood in the table.

"Do I have to answer that? ...I mean, it's just...there's a difference between feeling nothing about it myself and feeling nothing when I relate it to others. I feel...it would be embarrassing to admit to what has been...taken."

Sighing Gintoki said, "If you want me to help, I _must _know what the problem is." And then with a softer voice, "Let me help you. Please."

Taking a deep breath Kamui looked out the window into the early morning light and near empty streets. He stared for a moment at the shopkeepers slowly opening up and the early bird shoppers emerging from their houses. His stomach growled and he remembered that he still had yet to eat breakfast. Gintoki gave him his moment to prepare for what he had to say and went to get the two of them some tamagoyaki, rice, and miso soup. Taking one last look at how the first rays of dawn made shadows through the window blades, Kamui finally looked away, knowing that if he didn't he would simply stay quiet the entire morning.

Forcing himself to take another shaky breath he quietly murmured the word he was having the hardest time saying.

Due to the fact that Gintoki was in the kitchen cooking, he couldn't hear and Kamui was forced to say it louder.

"Rape."

And suddenly everything was quiet.

It wasn't the comfortable silence of the early morning when you're the first person up. It was the deep, seemingly endless, heavy silence of two people searching desperately but genuinely not knowing what could possibly be said or done after something of such a caliber was mentioned in order to make it better. Kamui could feel Gintoki's eyes on him. Kamui continued.

"You're going to burn the eggs if you keep looking at me." Satisfied that the older man was no longer looking at him he spoke again, "I started working at a young because my father left my sister and I alone without any money for food or other necessities. I had to be the provider. When you're 10 it's hard to find a job no matter what planet you live on. I stayed out all day and night looking for work in order to pay for our food. One day I finally found a man nice enough to hire me.

He had me working as a dish cleaner in a run-down restaurant in a less then respectable part of town. It was perfectly fine up until the day before I was to get my first paycheck. He came up to me after business hours and told me to hold onto the table, drop my pants, bend over, and stay quiet. I was so close to having the money and I had spent too much time working there to quit when I was so close. If I didn't get that money I wouldn't even be able to provide for myself, let alone Kagura. I had no choice. I dropped my pants. And I dropped by pants every third Friday before I received my paycheck for the next four years. I never told Kagura or Umibouzu. They both think I tried to kill him because of an old Yato tradition. That's only half true.

I tried to kill him because when he abandoned us he forced me into that life, that _hell_. For fucks sake, I was forced into unwilling sex when I was _10_. How the hell else did he expect me to turn out? I became strong though, and I never let that type of situation be forced upon me again. That's why I never kill women and children-only men. Women can protect their children. Children are innocent. Men are worthless trash. They abandon their loved ones and take from those unable to fight back. I am no better than any of them. I abandoned Kagura when I turned 14 and a killed people who were unable to even dream of being able to do anything about it even if they were the strongest of their race."

Gintoki was quiet. He finished cooking and brought out the food. The two of them ate in silence for about ten minutes before Kamui couldn't take it anymore. He was starting to feel afraid, it was a completely irrational fear and he wasn't even sure what he was afraid of but it was there. And the fear was making him nauseous. He put his half eaten food on the table and pushed it away, sitting on the couch stiffly and waiting for Gintoki to say something.

Gintoki must have noticed how bad Kamui felt when he pushed away his food. Yato's never pushed away food, they had an endless stomach after all. However he kept silent. Kamui knew that the silence was likely due to the older man merely trying to figure out was to say, but the redhead still felt overly nervous.

Finally putting his food down, Gintoki looked up at Kamui with a serious expression and intense red eyes.

"I _will _protect you. I _won't _abandon you. Stay with me."

And somehow, he had figured out the perfect thing to say. So simple, but so perfect. It was what Kamui had been unknowingly looking for his entire life. Someone to protect him, someone to care for him. So that for once, he no longer had to do it himself. He no longer had be the strongest Yato. He could just be himself-a small, redheaded, teenager who loved green tea, chocolate pocky, and peace. There was only one possible answer to the question. So he gave it.

"Yes."

~X~

Review please. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: To Save a Life  
>Author: Koite (yellowrose)<br>Rating: NC-17  
>Summary: Gintoki will do his best to save him, whether he wants to be saved or not. One-shot, but if enough people want it, I might write a second chapter with a lemon.<br>Pairings: Gintoki/Kamui  
>Warnings: language, sex<p>

~X~

Kamui stayed with Gintoki for the next few days without any consequences, seeing as how the kids had decided to go on some kind of adventure. However, the two teenagers were coming back tomorrow night, so today was the redhead's last free day. He would have to explain to Kagura why he was here and the idea of even mentioning any of what he had discussed that first day with Gintoki to his sister scared him to the point of hysteria. Whenever he even thought of it, the redhead would start hyperventilating and Gintoki would have to come calm him down. Although the silver-headed samurai's ways of calming him down weren't exactly orthodox, Kamui still appreciated it.

At first Gintoki would just make him some hot tea and sit by his side, but after the second panic attack the older man stopped keeping his distance. He would start running his fingers through Kamui's hair, caressing his upper arms, and pulling the younger one into his chest and holding him until his breathing evened out. Kamui never said it, but he was deeply craving touches like those. Loving touches, just being held and comforted. He hadn't had someone to do that for him since he was very young, since before his mom died when he was three. Gintoki could have done anything he wanted with the redheaded at this point. The shorter one was vulnerable to pretty much anything after being treated so kindly.

The fact that the samurai didn't take advantage of his rather...open...state made the redhead want him even more. Kamui decided that if Gintoki was too much of a gentleman to make the first move then he would do it instead. This time, when Gintoki was holding him after the attack, the little redhead leaned his head up and pressed his smooth lips against Gintoki's surprised ones. The samurai pulled him away and looked down at him, asking his with his eyes if he really wanted to go through with this. In answer, the shorter one straddled Gintoki's lap with his knees on either side of the bigger man's legs, leaned up, and kissed him again.

Giving in, Gintoki opened his mouth and entered the redhead's with his tongue. Kamui moaned lightly when Gintoki pulled his bottom lip with his teeth and grabbed the redhead's hips with his large hands. The samurai's rough hands traveled up his shirt and teased his nipples, making them hard. Wanting to see the beautiful redhead's bare skin, the taller man hastily pulled off his stormy grey wife-beater. Admiring Kamui's flushed pink nipples and freckle dotted shoulders, Gintoki reached out and teased the small slit of his left bud, making him gasp and arch into the touch.

Kamio loved having his chest played with, it was one of his most erogenous areas. He was extremely sensitive there, and had even had a lover once who had almost got him completely to orgasm just from playing with his small buds. Gintoki leaned down and licked his hardened nipple, sucking it into his mouth and then nibbling on it lightly. Kamui grabbed the silver samurai's hair and pulled his head back up to his mouth. Gintoki's hands quickly came up and took the place of where his mouth had just been. Kamui couldn't contain his moan when he tugged on the rosy buds and rolled them between his fingers.

The redhead decided that this event was becoming too one-sided, so he reached down and snuck his hands into the taller man's pants. He rubbed the man's impressive organ teasingly for a few moments before he reached inside the strawberry-printed boxers and stroked the massive length. Trying to get a feel for how big the older man was, he wrapped his hand around his cock and stroked it from root to tip, then played with the sensitive head. Gintoki threw his head back and moaned, pinching one of Kamui's nipples extra hard and causing the redhead to moan in turn.

"Fuck, you are a big boy aren't ya, Gin-san?"

Gintoki smirked and laughed. He looked down at the redhead and said, "But you can take it. Can't you, Kamui?"

"Ah, of course Gin-san! I know you'll prepare me well. A strong, handsome, caring guy like you surely has had worlds of experience in that area. Am I right?"

The samurai whispered huskily into his ear, "That would be a wise assumption." Then bit down softly on his earlobe, sucking on it.

After making Kamui nearly cum from the ministrations on his ear, Gintoki tilted his head and bit down on Kamui's neck while his hands went down to cup the younger one's ass. The older man helped him get out of his pants and then obtain their previous position. Moving his hands back down the redhead's body smoothly, he gripped the mounds of flesh and pulled, stretching the younger one's little hole. Kamui pushed back, urging the rough fingers to touch his hidden spot, but the older man stopped redhead looked at him questioningly.

So he said with a smirk, "Well, we wouldn't want you to be the only one without clothes on, would we?"

"No...no we wouldn't." The redhead got off his lap and knelt between the smirkng man's thick thighs. The difference between their two body type was really quite fascinating, Kamui mused. He'd always liked a man with big hands, broad shoulders, and a generous cock size. Gintoki was truly his type. By this point the older man had slithered out of his clothing and was sitting on the couch bare of clothes, with his legs spread and a seductive smirk on his face.

After a few moments of admiring Gintoki's admirable cock and heavy balls, the redhead decided to stop torturing the man and get to it. Reaching out, he gripped the bottom of the thick shaft and moved so his mouth was hovering just above the glistening tip. Looking up at Gintoki with intense eyes, he finally went down on the man, deepthroating him. Kamui started bobbing his up and down and cupping the underside of the sensitive organ with his tongue. When the older man moaned he decided to up the anti a little, so he moved his mouth up and sucked hard on the tip while teasing the slit with his tongue. He moved one hand back and cupped the smooth balls, feeling their weight in his palm. Then he started massaging the throbbing sac and bobbing up and down with increased fervor.

Feeling bold, the redhead snuck a finger back and teased the older man's clenching hole, earning a gasp and then a deep moan when the tip of the finger snuck inside the sensitive muscle. Increasing his suction on the pulsing and pre-cum leaking head, he urged the finger in deeper and searched out that sensitive bundle of nerves hidden inside the panting samurai's tight entrance.

When he found it Gintoki moaned loud and grabbed the redhead's hair, forcing him down on his flushed organ as far as possible. Kamui moaned at the rough treatment, causing Gintoki to shiver and pant heavily from the vibrations against his swollen organ. The smaller one snuck in two more fingers and then curled them against the samurai's pleasure spot and rubbed incessantly, occasionally switching to thrusting into it.

The samurai was about to cum, it seems he could only take about ten minutes of having his dick deepthroated and three fingers thrusting inside him. Wanting the older man to let go, Kamui pushed deeply inside the man, sucked hard on the head, and squeezed his balls. Gintoki moaned hard and came in his mouth. Swallowing and leaning back on his heels, he pulled his fingers out, then looked up at Gintoki and hoped it wouldn't take long for him to recover. The redhead had his own little problem, after all.

"Fucking hell. You really know what you're doing, Kamui."

Deciding to speed up the process, the smaller one squirted some lube on his fingers and reached behind himself. Just as he was about to insert the second finger a hand grabbed wrist, stopping him. He whined from the loss and tried to thrust back onto himself, but to no avail.

"I believe that's my job, isn't it?" He asked, then leaning closer he whispered darkly, "I'm going to fuck you so hard, so long, and so good that you're going to forget your name and be screaming mine."

Whimpering, the redhead let the older man pull him up and back onto his lap. Gintoki grabbed the lube from its spot on the couch where Kamui had thrown it, and slicked four fingers. Kamui eyed him for a second before deciding that with the size of what was going inside him, maybe that extra finger really was appropriate. The older man smirked, and then reached down and placed two fingers at the clenching entrance. He pushed just the tips in a few times before Kamui couldn't take the teasing anymore and pushed himself back and onto the fingers.

Moaning softly at the long awaited feeling of having something inside him, the redhead sunk as far down as he could onto the penetrating digits. Gintoki wasn't helping at all with his slow, barely there, teasing movements so Kamui got onto his knees for leverage and started to fuck himself. Gintoki's mouth watered at the sight and he tilted his head to bite down on the smooth flesh at the junction of his partner's neck and shoulder.

The redhead rolled his head to give the older man better access just as Gintoki added a third finger and found his prostate. The combination of the two stimuli caused him to gasp and moan quietly. Gintoki started thrusting his fingers into his partner at an accelerated rate, purposely avoiding his pleasure spot every other thrust.

"Hah...ngh, bastard..stop...ah, stop teasing!"

Deciding to be nice and give the redhead what he wanted, Gintoki pushed in his fourth and last finger. Then he pulled his hand back until just the very tips were still inside and then used all his strength to jam straight into Kamui's prostate. The shorter one cried out, pushing frantically back onto the rapidly thrusting digits. Kamui loved being fingered, having his prostate played with, but at this point he really wanted the samurai's long, hard, pulsing rod ramming into him repeatedly with no mercy.

"Gintoki please...nghh..fuck me. I need you so bad...hah...mnhh...need your cock, need you to break me in half...hah...nghh...please! Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me! I need you...mnhh, Gintokiii!"

"You beg so nicely, so fucking hot. You want me to pound your ass so hard you can't breath? You want my thick, hot, ten inch cock filling you up? Hmm?" Gintoki asked, punctuating his words with sharp thrusts into the redhead's tight hole.

"Nnhh, yes please. Do it. Fill me up. Break me in half."

Finally conceding, Gintoki pulled his fingers out and positioned Kamui's twitching opening above his throbbing rod. Looking at the redhead's face, he gripped his hips and started lowering him inch by inch, until all ten inches were securely inside the tight heat.

Gintoki moaned. It was so hot, so slick, so perfect around his pulsing organ. He had to wait a few seconds or he might just explode. Meanwhile, Kamui couldn't decide if he was in heaven or hell. He'd never been so full before, Gintoki was the biggest man he'd ever taken. It hurt like a bitch but it felt so good to be stretched that far. He knew the pain would go away soon anyway, and it was going to be so worth it.

Gintoki waited a minute for the redhead to get adjusted before asking, "You ready?"

Kamui gave a small nod and the samurai started moving. He started off with shallow thrusts, only taking an inch or two out, then slowly pushing it make in through the tight ring of contracting muscle. The stimulation of those highly sensitive nerves at the very opening sent shivers up his partner's back and caused his breathing to quicken in short bursts of air. Finding his pleasure spot easily, Gintoki thrust his hips up hard, ramming into it repeatedly.

Wanting to grip his partner's long red hair, he reached back and untied the braid. Running his hand through the bloody locks, he took a hold of them and using them for leverage he gave his hardest thrust yet. Kamui gasped and arched his back, then cried out from the pleasure. The small addition of pain from having his hair pulled only served to heighten the pleasure he was receiving from Gintoki's massive rod.

The redhead was getting close. The constant pounding against the small bundle of nerves inside him combined with the constant sliding of the older man's hard organ in and out of his contracting muscles was almost enough to through him over the edge.

"Aahhh...hah...Gintoki, so close. Ngh, almost...hah...mnhh, almost there."

"Hahh, me to."

Gintoki's thrusting started becoming erratic and Kamui was moaning at almost every thrust. Remembering how much the redhead liked having his nipples played with, the samurai reached one hand up and teased the hard bud with one hand and gripped the younger one's cock with his other. Pulling the redhead's hair for better access and then biting down on his collarbone was the last straw.

Kamui called out Gintoki's name when he came. The combination of seeing and hearing his partner orgasm and the sporadic tightening around his own impressive organ threw the older man over the edge. Whimpering, the younger one orgasmed a second time when he felt Gintoki cum inside him. Shivering from the pleasure and thoroughly wiped out, he pulled himself up and off Gintoki's softening cock.

The samurai picked him up and took them both to his bed. Laying down next to his partner, they both drifted off to sleep. Needless to say, when Kagura and Shinpachi walked in on the two in bed the morning the two of them were quite shocked. Shinpachi decided that he really just didn't want to know. Obviously if Gintoki slept with the redhead then he couldn't actually be a bad guy and therefor, it seriously just wasn't his business. Kagura was smiled happily, looking at the two. She knew the silver samurai would protect her brother. She was beyond ecstatic that Kamui had finally been given a second chance. Softly closing the door, she went to go join Shinpachi on his trip to the grocery store.

~X~


End file.
